I'm currently feeling unease. I knew, she didn't like me. I thought she was also my friend. But no, she isn't like that in my impression. I don't understand either.
I think I'm back from being stupid. I'll only get hurt if I keep on doing this. Just like the old days. When I'm still approachable. When I like having many friends. I'd rather be isolated than having a lot of friends and make me look like a fool. I was their laughing stock. I was their clown. Because my personality looks like that. I'm even addressed as lesbian. I look like a boy. What can I do, I don't want to lose my friends.
But, I became like this. I realized that I was really a fool. If I have been more serious, more physically and mentally strong, I wouldn't have to experience that. I changed myself my personality, my looks, I become more conscious. I had my thoughts to be obscured.
I like this me. This is the better one.
